#and it proves that bones is just as important to Spock as Jim

[mccoysq]

The fact that Spock’s soul was left in McCoys body.

MCCOYS

will never not be fucking hilarious. Of all the people on the enterprise he left his soul with, it was the saltiest, least interested, most irritable living being in the federation.

[icantspellthings]

I've noticed that typical Vulcan men do not appear to wear the iconic blue shimmery eyeshadow, while Vulcan women do and with glossy pink lipstick too.

Where as it seems that Romulan men do, in fact, wear eyeshadow. It seems to be an important enough part of their culture that when they put it on Jim too when Bones disguised him as a Romulan.

But you know who also wears eyeshadow (and pink lipstick)? Mister Spock!

Like look! Their makeups literally match. It's very interesting that both Romulan men and women wear makeup, but only Vulcan women seem wear makeup (well maybe the men do too we've just never seen any). And if Romulans and Vulcans have a common ancestor, does it mean that historical Vulcan men did wear makeup? Is Spock doing ancient Vulcan makeup to prove that he's like soooo totally Vulcan? What does it all mean, am I just tin foil hatting 🤔

[bajuuuu]

Rewatching some favourite TOS episodes of mine. And this thing at the end of The return of the archons (s1,e22) stuck out to me. This whole episode is about how a computer can’t run a society even if programmed by a human. Because it’s missing something… innate… human. A “soul” Jim calls it.

The episode ends with Jim talking the computer into self destructing (as usual) stating that it has no creativity, that it’s killing the humans it’s designed to protect. This isn’t the only time Jim makes a computer realise that it is and never will be a human and is therefore lesser than the human which created it.

But after that. After they return to the ship Jim and Spock have the classic end of the episode conversation. “I prefer the concrete, the graspable, provable.” Spock says after Jim brings up the soul argument. “You’d make a splendid computer, mister Spock” Jim replies with a smile. He means it well. Spock raises an eyebrow at the remark and thanks his captain for the compliment. ”That is very kind of you captain.”

Kind. In the episode where a computer is talked into subordination, told that it is lesser than humans. It is kind of Jim to call Spock a computer. I can’t be the only one seeing this irony.

Do you think that any time Spock gets compared to a machine, he thinks back to this moment? Do you think that any time he is asked to do some computations instead of asking the computer (because said machine is unavailable) he compares himself to the machine he is substituting?

Spock gets called many quite ugly things throughout the series, some of them are reprimanded (the episode where an ensign is made to leave the bridge after not trusting Spock with a decision because he’s a Vulcan). Some go unnoticed or are ignored due to the episode plot being more important (The Galileo 5 where he has to constantly prove himself to be capable of doing his damn job even though he’s the superior officer). And then some are played off for a laugh, a joke and harmless little quarrel (any time Bones and Spock are on screen tbh).

There’s also The day of the dove. An episode where Scotty (influenced by an alien but still) tells Spock to “keep his Vulcan hands off of him. Just keep away. […] you green blooded half-breed”. Spock (also influenced by an alien) goes to punch Scotty in the face (which… fair) but the way Jim stops Spock (only Spock not Scotty who started the whole thing) from doing so is by yelling “you’re half human”. Which does the trick by the way. Later on he goes directly to Spock, lays his hands on his shoulders and asks him and no one else “Have we committed race hatred against the Klingons?” He asks Spock because at least unconsciously he knows that Spock is the one who would notice. Who would know.

I just wonder, how many times can you be called a pointy eared bastard, a devil, a computer, an alien before you start to believe it. Before you start changing yourself to be more human. To fit in. Because Spock does change throughout the seasons, he becomes more open, allows himself to be both human and Vulcan at the same time. And of course he does, he is surrounded by people! Of course it will rub off. Especially if these humans continuously tell you that you will never feel love (a very human emotion in Bonse’s opinion) because it isn’t written in your inheritance (The paradise syndrome).

He changes, I just wonder if it is for the better. Or if.. perhaps. The first thing he does after the 5 years on the Enterprise is go back to his home world and tries to purge himself of all emotion. To kill off this human thing in him that his friends tried to cherish.

Does this have a point? No? Not really? Just… thoughts.

[trekmupf]

The Court Room Drama AU ⚖️

Pro

Great episode to show important parts of Kirk's character

he really is affected by any death under his command and cares for his people deeply

he's really trying his best with Jamie and stays kind to her throughout

The way Kirk refuses to let the others in the bar be vague about what's going on and wants them to be direct and honest, just like he tends to be (unless it's for a ruse); instead of escalating the situation he leaves

he holds onto his beliefs not only ethically but in himself as well – he knows what he did and sticks to the truth instead of taking an easy way out, even though the situation seems hopeless

The first time we see how decorated Kirk is within Starfleet- really one of the fleets finest. Also the way Cogley frames Kirk's decorations is so well done.

When he takes the stand he is 100% sure of his actions and himself. We know that Kirk admits mistakes when he makes them, and this instance isn't one of them

Shaw in context of being Kirk's ex confirms again that he really likes smart and independent women and respects them, even after a relationship ended

Kirk has good knowledge of engineering as well

Shatner's acting in the episode is really great – he can do these subtle emotions and Kirk's character so well

Also the fact that his crew trusts him, each in their own way, and know that he wouldn't do this. 100% ride or die crew

McCoy making it clear that he stands behind Jim from the first scene with Shaw onwards; Also Bones' southern charm gets me every time

Shaw is a great character: she's much more than just an ex, she has her own believes and goals and is competent at her job; also the tension between her and Kirk rising because of her duty to her position as prosecutor, when their relationship itself as exes is fine

Actually this is how I imagine Kirk being with ex partners, very nice, lovely and amicable.

Cogley is a great character as well: very adhd smart guy vibes, initially strange but when the hearing starts he goes off and is so competent and passionate!

Proper intro of the dress uniforms! (honorary mention of Kirk's slutty wrap top, of course)

Spock and Bones serving during the hearing in said uniforms, absolute kings. Everyone looks so good in this episode.

Even though said before Spock's defence of Kirk deserves it's own point. His argument is so vulcan and suits him so well, and his trust in Kirk as a person doesn't waiver for a second during the entire episode

The same goes for McCoy (also DeForest's voice during the courtroom scene is VERY nice)

Finney is another one of Kirk's nemesis, I mean how many nemesis can one guy have, Kirk is literally the ultimate ex no one gets over (looking at Movie 2)

This episode shows once again that Starfleet isn't as cleancut as it seems and has problems – Stone offering Kirk a way out when fully believing that he made that mistake and killing Finney is questionable at best

Great episode for further world building: we learn more about Starfleet itself (it's actually the first time the name is dropped), we meet other crews, other ships get named and we get some backstory about Kirk

Even though we have multiple sets this was supposed to be a bottle episode and it shows. Set mostly on a starbase (unlike most episodes that are about new planets), the characters are in focus

Great commentary made from a 60s perspective but still relevant today: the “infallible” machine vs the fellable human. We have three people vouching for Kirk's character in court vs one video and one computer log. The people get immediatly questioned whereas the computer is factual until Spock's proves it's wrong. The idea that mashines and computers make less or no mistakes compared to people is still relevant, see the whole debate about self driving cars.

Also Cogley's speech about human rights and machines not having those rights works really well in the context (will get interesting in TNG)

Generally the acting and interaction of all characters really hold the narrative until the twist in the end

Despite the serious subject the interpersonal moments and the way Cogley works provide some tension relief

I just love the way Spock sits in the captains chair here. No notes.

Con

Jamie can be exhausting

Shaw as an ex shouldn't work this case (even though she's shown as 100% professional and capable)

I know why it's done for the narrative but resolving this serious situation with a fistfight is wild

Counter

Kirk shirt rip (I mean this is the rippiest shirt so far)

Technically Evil AI (as the concept of computers gets explored)

Quote

If I let go of a hammer on a planet that has a positive gravity, I need not see it fall to know that it has in fact fallen. - Spock, believing in Kirk

"Mr Spock, you're the most cold-blooded man I've ever known" "Why, thank you, doctor" -Bones & Spock

Moment

Spock's, McCoy's and Kirk's testimonies

Summary

A great character driven episode that focusses on Kirk as both a person and a captain as well as his relationships with the other characters. The interesting question of computers being fallible as well as a personal betrayal while Kirk's future is on the line make for a good and gripping narrative.

Previous Episode - Next Episode - All TOS Reviews

[jillianallen14]

A Mini-Essay on the Love Between Kirk and Spock

The romantic nature of Kirk and Spock’s relationship is so clear to me because of Kirk’s relationship with Bones. If you asked just about anyone who’s seen/watched/read/knows anything about Star Trek beyond the names Jim Kirk and Spock, “Who is Kirk’s best friend?” just about everyone would tell you, “Bones. Easy.” If you asked any character in Star Trek, including Spock, “Who is Jim Kirk’s best friend?” they’d answer, “Bones. Easy.” (Or, in the case of Spock, something along the lines of, “I believe it to be Dr. McCoy,” lol; you know y’all read that in his voice). The romantic nature of Kirk and Spock’s relationship (and I’m specifically talking about TOS, but it could apply to AOS, too) is easy to see because we have something to compare it to (no hate or shade to people who ship Kirk/Bones bc y’all are super valid for that, I get it too). Bones and Kirk, to me, are the quintessential male friendship where they would die for each other, get drunk together, are affectionate with each other, tease the hell out of one another, love each other and would say so, etc. They’re a very healthy male/male friendship, which is lovely to see, and they’re practically like brothers. Which is why it’s so clear to me that Kirk and Spock are something different. Kirk already has a best friend; Spock fulfills a different role in his life. Kirk would die for Spock, he would get drunk with Spock, he is affectionate with Spock, he teases Spock, he loves Spock and says so. But he does all this for different reasons than he does with Bones. Spock is 100% his “other half”. They are partners, spouses, which is why, most of the time, there’s a tension between the two of them before they “get together” (which I believe finally happens in The Motion Picture) that doesn’t exist between Kirk and Bones. In The Search for Spock, Jim literally proves that he simply can’t live without Spock. Jim’s love for Bones and Spock is equal, but it’s different kinds of love. 

I decided to bring this up because I’ve been reading a lot of fanfic that downplays the importance of Spock in Jim’s life before they get together & make it official in favor of making Bones the most important person in Jim’s life. OR they downplay the importance of Bones in Jim’s life once Spock and Jim get together. Often, the same fanfic will do both. And everyone has their opinions, of course, but I think it really does a disservice to the characters and the way their relationships with each other have been set up to parallel each other but also show the differences between different kinds of love. Bones and Spock are both the most important people in Jim’s life, for different reasons, because he loves them equally in different ways. And that’s something I love so much about Star Trek. It shows how important familial love can be, platonic love, romantic love, physical love. Star Trek, to me, is a show that’s overwhelmingly about love. Love for one’s planet and home, love for one’s duty/job/purpose, love for one’s self (which is, I think, an important journey Spock undergoes as he learns to accept both halves of his identity), love for your friends, love for a partner, love for living beings, love. And Jim’s simultaneous but very different relationships with Bones and Spock show quite wonderfully how all love is important and plays a large role in a person’s life, not just romantic love or familial love. 

I also bring this up because I’m quite tired of people who refuse to accept even the possibility that Kirk and Spock were in love (even though it’s practically as canon as it could be for the time period their relationship was created in, but whatever, homophobes will be homophobes) stating, “They’re just friends. Best friends. Why can’t you people ever just let two men be friends?” They’re not just friends. They’re certainly not best friends. Jim already has a best friend, although it’s perfectly possible to have multiple, of course. And Jim’s relationship with Bones is a perfect example of how we all understand how two men can be “just friends”. But Jim and Spock are not “just friends”. When you look at the differences between Jim’s relationships with Bones and Spock, it’s very clear why Jim and Spock are not just friends. It’s very clear why Spock is the one that sacrifices himself in The Wrath of Khan (or Jim in the reboot), and why Jim is the one putting his hands up against the glass in grief and agony (or Spock, in the reboot). It’s clear why it’s these two who are at the heart of this tragedy, who are portrayed as star-crossed lovers whose time together gets cut short. Their relationships are equal in importance but different in nature. I wish people could see that more because I think it’s one of the most beautiful things to come out of Star Trek. 

[mccoymccoymccoy]

Kirk - Go to your quarters or I’ll pick you up and carry you there.

A/N: I KNOW. I KNOW THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE OPPOSITE CONTEXT FROM WHEN HE SAID THAT. BUT WHEN HE SAID IT WE ALL GOT A TINGLE, NO? oh well. silly little brain.

Word count: 1,531

God, you were tired. Finally a calm day on the bridge- no engine repairs needed, no hostile encounters, no pointless orders from Starfleet- and yet it felt like the longest day since your shore leave on a planet with twenty hours of sun. Your nose was red and sore from patting at it with your sleeve, and you had a headache like what you imagined being struck by an ice pick would feel like.

“All in order, cap-” you paused, face contorting into the classic pre-sneeze expression. Oh, go away, go away, go away! Miraculously, it did. “-tain,” you finished, rubbing the side of your finger against your nose. He turned around and raised an eyebrow at you. “Lieutenant, it seems like you’ve still got a bit of that cold left. Didn’t Bones order you to take three days off? As long as I can still count, it’s only been two days.” Spock, who was walking past, nodded. “You can indeed still count, captain.” You sighed.

“Sir, with all due respect, a little almost-sneeze isn’t anything to worry about. I believe I’m perfectly able to perform my duties,” you lied.

He put one hand on his hip while the other pinched his forehead, and sighed right back at you. “Y/N, we don’t know how this cold- this virus, works. You heard what Bones said, it’s not like the old common Earth cold. You got hit the worst out of the landing party.” He may be a walking bullshit detector, but his reasoning was a void attempt to you.

You saw your duties as more important than anything, which he normally had incredible respect for, but you’d already lost out on two days. Two days, just kicking around your quarters and sneaking around your deck trying to find something to do. Somehow, every time, Bones or an ensign found you and had to bring you back. Mimicking him, you placed your hands on your hips and shifted your weight to one foot. You were starting to feel a bit light-headed, but you weren’t sure if it was because of the cold or him.

“Come on, Y/N.”

You looked down. His insisting this was really starting to make you nervous- not just because of the prospect of missing out on work. You were so fond of him that surely the rate of your heart and the anxious sweating would just make him more firm in his decision that you were unfit to work! Thinking about him made your headache worse than it already was, too. “Captain, please. I’m alright.” Your nose twitched another sneeze away.

“No more arguing, lieutenant. You’re off for the rest of today and tomorrow. That’s an order. Go.”

“Sir, please-”

“Go to your quarters or I’ll pick you up and carry you there.”

You froze. Your face flushed at the thought, and the pressure you’d been adding to your one leg became too much, causing a little stumble. Jim grabbed onto your arms quickly, steadying you. You started to explain about the pressure, but he shook his head. “Spock, you’ve got the bridge. Come on, Y/N. Let’s get you outta here,” he said before sweeping you off your feet into a bridal carry.

Captain Kirk, Captain James T. Kirk, was carrying you back to your own goddamn quarters. You pressed the hand that wasn’t wrapped around his neck against your face to cover your blush- What was his deal! “Captain, if you’re that concerned about my health, perhaps you wouldn’t want to be, well, this close to me? Please, put me down.” He looked down at you, brows furrowed. “It’s not a cold transmitted by contact, Lieutenant,” you sighed a little at him using your official title while carrying you like this. “Doctor McCoy explained that to you already. You’re tired, you almost collapsed on the Bridge, you need to get some sleep and rest. I won’t say it again.”

“But-” He softly stroked your shoulder with his thumb, and it shut you up immediately.

“That’s all I gotta do to quiet you down?” It had clicked for him just a few seconds prior that you weren’t acting strangely just because you were sick. He smiled down at you- something you’d usually expect to be snarky from anyone else after the last comment, but not from him. You knew your face must be redder than your shirt by now, and without thinking, you pressed into his chest to try to hide it. You felt his next chuckle more than you heard it.

You stayed like that for a few moments more until he made it to your door, inside, and to your bed, where he put you down gently. You sat up immediately, and he smiled again.

“Give it up, Lieutenant. I wouldn’t want to have to confine you to your quarters.” You frowned. “Captain, nothing is more important to me than my work. I’ve just got a headache and a tickly nose, at least clear me for tomorrow!” Your head pounded at the effort of raising your voice and you cringed in pain. Jim frowned now too, reaching out and then sitting down beside you. He thought for a moment, while you looked down with your hands in your lap.

“You know, Lieut- Y/N, you know, you’d be no good at your tasks right now anyway.” You laughed quietly. “Gee, thanks, Cap.” You watched as his hand found its way into your lap and between your clammy ones, fingers lacing with yours. He was looking at you, but your own eyes were glued to your lap. His next words were spoken so softly, you could hardly believe this was the same man who’d yelled at you earlier to take a rest.

“That didn’t quite come out how I meant. I meant, you’re an incredible officer who does incredible work here, and I’m sure you wouldn’t want to dampen that record because you don’t know how to relax when you need to.”

“This isn’t relaxing,” you sighed. His other hand reached up to cup your cheek, turning your face so you’d look at him. And you did- oh, how you did. How lovely it was to look at him up close, to look so deeply into his eyes you thought you’d never be able to escape. You always tried to avoid eye contact with him, and contact in general- which had always proved difficult. He was always asking you to join the landing party, and then dinner after, and a game in the rec room, and a gym session- you always tagged along, feeling like a pity case and wondering why he’d have you there. It had never once occurred to you that maybe, just maybe, he felt the same way about you as you did him.

“I know. Maybe I could help that?” His eyes flickered to your lips for a moment, then back up. You looked down, leaning into his hand on your cheek and finally beginning to grasp the one in your lap rather than just letting it be there. “Maybe,” you said, barely above a whisper. He closed in, slowly at first, then quickly- he kissed you sweetly, and to say you melted inside would be an understatement. You moved one hand to touch the edge of his jaw ever so gently and felt him smile. He pulled away from you a bit, but stayed close, resting his forehead against yours.

“You sure you won’t catch this cold, Jim?” You smiled, and kept your eyes closed. You felt his breath against your cheek as he chuckled before responding: “So now we’re on a first name basis, I see?” You sat up abruptly, the brain fog hadn’t allowed you to interpret that as a joke. “If we aren’t sir, my sincerest apologies, I just-”

He gently grabbed your shoulders and kissed you again. Shorter this time, but not exactly a peck. You blinked at him, and he grinned.

“I was teasing.”

“Ah. Of course. Maybe I really do need some rest.” His eyes suddenly lit up, almost in a comical lightbulb-moment way. “Why don’t I stay with you a bit longer? You know, make sure you actually stay put and all.” You smiled and looked at the floor once again, but not before picking up on a slight blush from him. He truly was a sweetheart. You nodded, humming. “That would be nice, I think. What about the bridge though?”

“Spock will have it under control for as long as needed,” he responded while laying the two of you down. You wrapped an arm around his waist and cuddled into his shoulder, despite still thinking it’s completely inappropriate for you to do this with the captain- but he doesn’t seem concerned at all. Your tiredness had caught up with you once you finally allowed yourself to relax- you let out a loud yawn, and couldn’t keep your eyes open anymore. “Try to sleep now, Y/N. I’ll be here.”

“Thanks, Jim,” you mumbled as you started to drift off. He pressed a kiss onto the top of your head, and you could feel him smiling again before your mind finally went quiet.

[ponnearponfarponwhereveryouare]

negotiations of home

Pairing: TOS!McSpirk

Summary: Spock takes the time to examine his thoughts (and feelings) towards the Enterprise's captain and chief medical officer. He decides the most logical course of action is to address his findings.

Rating: G | Word Count: 1862 | also on ao3

Spock had long since learned not to say thoughts tied to emotion. Such ruminations had to be examined critically and in such a time and location so as to not interfere with his work. Only in this way could he put logic first, by making a habit of it. He was not sure if this was the process other Vulcans applied, but it was the one that worked best for him.

He knew he was successful when he was able to apply this method around members of his family; with positive emotions and negative. Only in absolute private he might tell his mother he loved her, tell his sister he missed her, or tell his brother that they were still, always, family.

It was best not to think about the emotions that came up involving his father. Or the feelings around the fact that his family was two and a half parts human and two and a half parts Vulcan. Of not being a whole.

Those walls had begun to slip, of late. And that was because he was faced with emotions that were not tangled up in his Vulcan upbringing. Feelings that included a sense of being held together, a chance at healing his two halves.

Which brought him to the matter at hand.

"You're you, Spock!" Leonard snapped, though the anger was not directed at Spock himself. The doctor was pacing about Jim's quarters, while Spock sat at the Captain's desk observing him. "You're not broken! All you have to do in this life is be honest with yourself."

Spock raised a brow. "Is this a time for the old anecdote, physician heal thyself?"

Leonard managed to scowl deeper. "Damn it, man, at least I'm trying. Talking about these sorts of things with someone you trust and care about is important."

"Is that not what I am attempting to do?" Spock asked. Before Jim had been called away to deal with a potential issue among the Enterprise's current guests, Spock had gathered both Jim and Leonard together with the purpose of working through a line of thought that had followed him around for the past 30 days.

Leonard deflated a bit, rubbing his hands together in a nervous manner. Spock attempted not to stare, as the emotions that evoked were ones he had not yet begun to speak of.

"Do not worry, Leonard, I will not continue until Jim has returned," Spock said in a tone he hoped would be reassuring.

"How am I supposed to do that, with you calling us by our names?" Leonard protested, now tossing his hands up in the air.

"It is a personal matter, so it would be illogical to use your professional titles."

"And that's why I'm nervous! Last time you had a personal matter that you had to involve me and Jim in, you were dying or your father was dying." Leonard didn't return to pacing, instead, he crossed the room and kneeled beside Spock. His blue eyes were wide and filled with concern.

"My apologies. I did not mean to raise alarm," Spock said, reaching out towards Leonard. He wasn't sure what he'd do, but he needed such dramatics to end. It brought an uncomfortable warmth that was tempting to lean into. To drown in. “Please, stand.” Spock stopped himself before he actually could touch Leonard’s elbows.

Leonard seemed to take a long enough time pondering this request as to border on his usual teasing. He finally stood, pressing a hand against Spock’s knee as he did. He settled then into Jim’s other chair so that they were now directly across from each other. “So you’re not dying.”

“Not that I am aware of. Though as my doctor, I believe you are to give me such status updates.”

This returned Leonard to a... huffier state. “I’d be able to do that if you didn’t lie to me.”

“Vulcan’s do not lie,” Spock reminded him.

“Oh really? Then it seems like I’ll need a copy of whatever definition you’re using for the word.”

Jim returned to catch that last exchange. “Gentlemen. I see I haven’t missed anything.” He was smiling, coming to lean against the partition that divided his quarters.

Spock found himself calmed by Jim’s presence. “The Andorian ambassador is settled?”

“Yes, Scotty was able to change the climate control settings for her quarters to something comfortable,” Jim said, as he looked from Spock to Leonard and back. “Where were we?”

“Spock was telling us something that is a “personal matter",” Leonard provided. “I’ve got him to promise no one is dying.”

“Statistically in the breadth of the universe and even just among life as we know it, at this moment-”

“Shut it!” Leonard’s tone was supposed to be sharp, but it was too rounded by his own laughter.

“Very well,” Spock turned towards Leonard, both eyebrows raised, and remained silent.

“Jim, look what he’s doing now!” Leonard complained, leaning closer towards Spock, as close as he could get with the desk between them.

Jim’s laughter filled the silence, and he crossed the room to sit on the corner of his desk. “Spock, Bones, come now.” His face was in that easy grin of his, the one Spock associated with times when all was well. “Spock, what did you want to talk to us about?”

Yes, the mission at hand. One that he had set for himself because, given the nature of their work and luck, it seemed best to share his thoughts sooner than later. Spock had planned the words he would say carefully, trying to predict what response he might get. He would not call himself nervous, as that emotion tended to be one of the most illogical.

“Yeah Spock, sorry,” Leonard smiled kindly, leaning back again. His foot nudged Spock’s under the table in what must have been encouragement. Leonard rarely apologized for their mutual antagonization of the other, another sign he was taking this seriously.

“It has come to my attention that I hold you both in strong regard.” Spock thought that was as good a place to start as any, even as his practiced words seemed to fall away. He should have written them down... But that would have no doubt brought Leonard’s amusement and possibly ire. “I also know, while it is not the practice on Vulcan, for many cultures it is customary to let those you care about know of your regard towards them.”

Both Leonard and Jim were silent, which was not one of the responses Spock had anticipated. It was Leonard who finally spoke and said, “Are you sure you’re not dying? Because you just admitted to having an emotion. Several, in fact.”

“Indeed. It was our last away mission that brought me to further examine my feelings towards both Jim and yourself.” Spock had been the one, after 27.8 frantic hours, to find and rescue the captain and chief medical officer. Between coordinating the rescue effort, Spock found his thoughts consumed with things he wished to tell them both. “I... care for you both. My existence is greatly improved by your presence in it.”

He hoped that they could understand all he was not able to say. ‘Don’t leave me, I need you, I missed you, I-’

“Spock,” Jim’s voice was soft, and when Spock looked up at him, so was his expression. “I feel the same.” He then looked towards Leonard, and Spock followed his gaze.

Leonard looked between them both, and his blinking grew more rapid. When he finally spoke, his voice was rough. “Damnit, I don’t know what I’d do if I lost either of you. You’ve both managed to pick up my pieces and put them back together. I can’t remember the last time I felt complete.”

Of course, Leonard, who was better with emotions than either Spock or Jim, would put the words to it: that there existed between them something that exceeded a friendship bond. They had become family. Partners. A tension settled then, the question -

“What do we do?” Jim voiced it. “It’s not as if we can stop going on dangerous missions. That’s not the life we signed up for.”

“I know neither of you could be happy sitting by,” Leonard agreed. “You’re explorers to your cores. And someone who asks you to change your very nature isn’t worth keeping.”

Keep. Spock turned the word over in his mind. “It seems that what is in our power to change is the parameters of our relationship.”

Jim let out a breath that sounded like ‘yes.’

“If you’re suggesting what I think you’re suggesting, that’d be against regulation.” Leonard pointed at Spock. “Would you be okay with that?”

“Affirmative.” Spock had to focus to keep his tone even. This was not one of the outcomes he had let himself ponder. His desire for it would have become overwhelming.

“What about the ol’ needs of the many over the few?” Leonard said, and Spock knew he wasn’t arguing because he was against the possibility now hanging heavy in the room, more tangible than it had ever been before because it had been named. Leonard was making sure Spock was sure; that he was comfortable.

“You are both professionals, whom I trust not to let the personal adversely interfere with the running of the ship.” It was an easier answer than he thought. “I even theorize that such a change in our relationship could improve personal performance.”

“Now that is a theory that I want to test.” Jim moved to stand, so he could face them both fully. His smile was back and wider than Spock could recall seeing it. “I’d like to very much.”

Leonard was smiling now as well. “Why am I surprised that this has been the weirdest way I’ve ever been asked out?”

“Come on Bones, for science,” Jim’s eyes twinkled, and he reached out to catch one of Leonard’s hands. “But more importantly, for... love.”

Spock watched the way their fingers fit together, and almost missed that Jim had spoken the final unspoken word. He looked back towards their expressions, before standing himself and coming closer, to stand between them both.

“Of course I will,” Leonard said. “Spock?”

“Affirmative,” Spock said again, and added, while carefully watching Leonard’s expression. “It should prove fascinating.” Before Leonard could offer a retort to that, Spock held out his index and middle finger to him. A gesture he knew the good doctor had picked up the significance of.

Leonard’s eyes went wide once more, but he didn’t hesitate before reciprocating the gesture. Once he had, Spock felt a wave of affection he could not pinpoint as his own emotion or Leonard’s. Spock then offered the same to Jim, who looked like he had been given a gift to rival his captaincy of the Enterprise.

When Jim’s finger’s met Spock’s, the three of them stood visibly connected in a way Spock knew their lives had already long been. This, then, was proof that he would not lose them. At least, not without making sure they knew what they meant to him.

It spoke of a new beginning, a new adventure, shared between the three of them.

[thiawen]

So this list took forever to compile. I have like 400 Star Trek fics saved, so wading through them all to pick out what I find best for sharing was really hard. But I did my best. This is a mix of one shots, short fics, and some novel length works. I’ve not placed them in any particular order. Most are AOS. I’ve only just started exploring TOS fic so I don’t have many of those but I will specify the verse. Also, so far as I remember, all the authors tagged their works appropriately.

Tangled Destinies by Keira Marcos

AOS - Spock convinces his father that his mother’s happiness is the most important consideration and the family moves to Earth where they meet Captain Christopher Pike and his adopted son, James Tiberius Kirk.

- Novel Length. Epic. Best young Jim and Spock story I’ve ever read. I probably reread it at least once a year. Can’t recommend it enough.

i got my swim trunks (and my flippie-floppies) by amosanguis

AOS - Jim celebrates his newly awarded captaincy with, what else? A cruise. And a cruise is exactly the last place Jim thought he’d ever find a Vulcan.

Spock, the victim of a prank, decides to spite his tormentors and treat the cruise as a training exercise to prepare himself for the Enterprise’s upcoming deployment under its new captain – whoever that may be.

- Meeting on vacation. Instant chemistry.

A Series of Realizations by BlueBioluminescence

AOS - A Story about the people in Jim and Spock's lives finding out that they are married and have been for a while now.

Featuring:

Academy AU

Secret Relationship

Vulcans get married in 2.5 seconds after finding a compatible mind

Spock following the proud family tradition of being a slut

- Funny Fic. Like the future inter-species equivalent of having a drive thru marriage with the stripper you picked up that night in a bar in Vegas. Except neither of them is a stripper and the bar was in Iowa.

This Is Not A Game, This Is Science by yaoichan12

AOS - Spock comes back to Yorktown after spending time on New Vulcan. He starts designing a new tracking device for the crew to have that can't be jammed and enlists Jim's help to test the new device. Spock insists it is not hide-n-seek as Jim and their friends keep saying it is. It is science.

Bones just wants them to stop being babies about their feelings and confess that they love one another.

- Super cute. Jim running around Yorktown while Spock has to find him.

K'diwa: A Steamy Novel of Interspecies Romance, by Jim Kirk by branwyn

Jim wrote a romance novel just to prove he could. Then someone leaked it on the public Starfleet server, and suddenly his embarrassingly smutty and sentimental Human/Vulcan love story is all over campus. Luckily for Jim, no one knows that he’s the author. Unluckily for Jim, someone forwarded the novel to the staff of the Vulcan embassy. Now, every Vulcan in San Francisco is reassessing the logical merits of taking Human bondmates.

Spock reads a Human/Vulcan romance novel because he can hardly avoid it. Suddenly, he is consumed by the need to locate the author, ascertain their wellbeing, and instruct them in the way of Vulcan mating bonds. Luckily for Spock, it doesn't take long to identify the author as Jim Kirk. Unluckily for Spock, Jim is unconscious and surrounded by interested Vulcans who also read the book.

- Human obsessed Vulcans. Protective Spock. Jim getting the family he deserves.

Celestial Bodies in Motion Series by fakinbrilliance

AOS - Part One - In which Jim and Spock’s shuttle crash lands on an ice planet, possibly due to a misunderstanding with a hyper-intelligent sponge.

Part Two - Listen, it wasn’t Jim’s fault that he got kidnapped. At least, not the first time.

Or: The one in which Jim gets kidnapped by a series of aliens, Spock is less than pleased by his bondmate's abduction, and then pon farr sets in and makes everything even more...interesting.

- Fun series. Author says you can read the second part by itself by I recommend reading the prequel so you can see how they get together. And it’s just a good story.

Sudden Insight by falsepremise

AOS - Jim experiences a sudden insight- he is in love with Spock. Fortunately, Spock Prime foresaw this eventuality and has ensured that Jim will have access to the knowledge that he needs to seduce his t'hy'la.

- Matchmaker Spock Prime being the ultimate wingman from beyond the grave.

Jim the (Not-So) Virgin Series by yaoichan12

AOS - Jim is able to become pregnant and is accidentally inseminated with Spock's sperm during a routine exam and becomes pregnant.

- Epic series. Goes from Academy days to after Khan. Cute. Fun.

Take This Sinking Boat (And Point It Home) by sinestrated

AOS - In which Spock pines, Jim isn’t stupid (except he kind of is), and Christopher Pike has had enough of this bullshit.

- Pike survives Khan and plays matchmaker

Miscommunication by sinestrated

AOS - Jim's brain gets scrambled during an away mission gone wrong, with interesting results.

- Jim can only call people things he’s nicknamed them in his head. This proves to be hilarious and revealing.

Finding Paradise by Schattengestalt

TOS - Bones convinces Spock to court Jim.

"You know,” one side of the Doctor’s lips tilted upwards, “he might want someone at his side who loves him. Someone who goes out of their way to show him how much he means to them, someone who proclaims their love to him every day.” McCoy paused, but Spock got the distinct impression it wasn’t out of necessity. “Someone who woos him instead of taking his affections for granted.”

- Spock seduces Jim. Respectfully.

cast out fear by s0mmerspr0ssen

AOS - Kirk saves Vulcan from Nero at high cost to himself. It falls to Spock to pick up the pieces.

- Jim saves Vulcan but Nero makes him pay for it. Healing. Overcoming suffering. Jim really goes through the wars in this one and I think the author portrays the trauma and response to it very well.

Maybe Once, Maybe Twice by Regann

AOS - While on medical leave after his miraculous recovery, Jim is plagued with dreams -- dreams of another James T. Kirk, the one from the same alternate reality that the other Spock hails from. At first, Jim's dreams are dismissed as a psychological symptom of his latest trauma, but when he starts talking about a place called the Nexus, the answer no longer seems so cut-and-dried. But disturbing dreams aren't the only thing Jim's struggling with -- there's Starfleet's concern over his mental stability, the repairs of his beloved ship and the little matter of the fact that his First Officer seems to be intent on ignoring him.

- I don’t want to spoil anything, though I’m sure we all can guess what happens. But Love Conquers All.

A T'hy'la Delivered From The Stork Series by NightOwl1

AOS - Spock is lonely and wanted a baby brother, after a misunderstanding and an accident a baby Jim is dropped into his lap courtesy of a stork. Taking this to mean that Jim is his new baby brother he takes Jim out for a day of fun.

- Another epic series. Starts with young Jim and Spock all the way to adulthood. Cute, Funny, but with serious moments too.

The Walls Between Us by museaway

AOS - They have been imprisoned for thirteen hours, ten minutes, and forty-two standard seconds.

- Jim and Spock are imprisoned together offworld and Spock melds with Jim to comfort him.

M'aih Series by Lalaith_Quetzalli

AOS - What if there was more to James Kirk than anyone knew? What if there was someone in his past that pushed him into making different choices? How much can the existence of two women, a human and a vulcan, two mothers, change the universe through their sons?

Because in the end there is no truer love than that of a mother for her child; nor greater first love than that the same child has for their mother.

- Great series. Jim had an adoptive Vulcan mother and that changes a lot of things.

The Perils of Shore Leave by Ophelia_just

TOS - After a repeat visit to the shore leave planet, Kirk is pictured locked in an embrace with an unknown Vulcan. The picture is seen across the Federation, but the captain is concerned with reactions far closer to home...

- Feelings realization. Supportive Bones and Crew. The entire Federation shipping Kirk/Spock.

Political Maneuvers by fangirlandiknowit

AOS - When the Admiralty calls to tell Jim he has to get married for political reasons, Spock (logically) offers himself up as a candidate. He'd feel less guilty about accepting if Spock actually, you know, loved him back...

- Funny. Cute. Multiple planets fighting over who gets Jim and Spock doesn’t hesitate for a damn second to lock that down.

once more with feeling by indeedcaptain

AOS - Jim Kirk loses Spock, and then finds him again. And then loses and finds him, and loses and finds him, and loses and finds him.

- Groundhog Day. Jim stuck in a time loop.

Emergency Sex Pollen Contact by TheShinyLizard

AOS - The Enterprise has encountered many oddities while traveling through space on her five year mission. Some of them were strictly on one planet while others seemed to thrive on many planets. One of the strangest and yet most prolific of these oddities was affectionately dubbed ‘Sex Pollen’ (a very unscientific and unspecific name as said by the Enterprise’s First Officer, Mr. Spock to a smirking Dr.McCoy): a pathogen (coded under the name MDM-Alpha2b) that strips the subject of their inhibitions and induces a euphoric and aphrodisiacal release of serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine that ultimately leaves the subject in a libidinous, primal state until sexual release (generally of a penetrative nature) and the release must be with a partner, manual sexual stimulation has so far been unsuccessful. As the infected person is typically severely impaired it is up to their emergency sex pollen contact (not sex buddy, Jim, stop calling them that) to ensure release and gratification.

- Hilarious. One of the best sex pollen fics.

Keira Marcos’s other Star Trek Fics are also great. They are all AOS. There’s five of them and they are all one shots or short fics. You can get through them in an hour.

To be honest I have more. The original list I made to share was like thirteen pages long, but as I started actually making this post I cut it down some more. I might share the others later but I’ve been at this a while and I need a break. I hope everyone enjoys. Let me know what you think.

💛💙SPIRK FIC REC - MY FAVOURITES💙💛

As a follow up to my recent post about how few fics make it to my favourites list, and how special they are to achieve that distinction, I decided to share my current list.

I’ve shared some of these individually in the past but here you’ll have them all together. 

If you've read any of these already then I'd love to hear your thoughts on whether you loved them as much as I did! 🥰

(NB: these are not listed in any order of preference. Mostly it’s the reverse order in which I read them)

Leave No Soul Behind by whochick Words: 258,951

AOS, AU Canon-Divergence. Spock, Kirk and the other valiant members of the Emergency Personnel Ambulance Service fight to save lives and turn the tide of the ongoing war against Nero and his fleet before it’s too late. Such a beautiful slow burn for Spock and Kirk.

Atlas by distractedKat Words: 135,529

AOS. Follow on from 2009, Kirk, Spock and the rest deal with the aftermath of Nero’s attack and rebuilding after the decimation of the ‘Fleet and Academy. An exciting tale with twists and turns involving black ops, bad-mirals, action, love and fierce loyalty.

The Lotus Eaters by aldora89 Words: 93,594

AOS. Stranded on a planet together, with multiple dangers and very little hope of rescue, Jim and Spock have no choice but to rely on each other to survive. Spectacular plot, amazing world building, fabulous original character and an epic slow burn Spirk love story!

With Your Feet on the Air and Your Head on the Ground by flippyspoon Words: 39,188 @flippyspoon

SNW. A phenomenal Spirk fic in which Kirk is stuck in Spock's mind while the crew work to find a way to retrieve his body. A wonderful getting to know you/falling for you hard tale. Wonderfully written and highly entertaining.

Evolution by Rhaegal (RhaegalKS) Words: 149,293

AOS. Covering the first year of their 5 year mission, this is totally flawless. The character voices are perfection, the prose spectacular. The whole thing plays like an AOS movie. It’s phenomenal.

Emotions by LadyRa Words: 35,569

TOS. Spock gets drugged on a shore leave and is overwhelmed with its effects. Kirk tries to pick up the pieces. A beautiful, and wonderfully grounded, story of realising how much they mean to each other.

And When the Bond Breaks by LadyRa Words: 24,631

TOS. Spock takes out a shuttle to investigate an anomaly and returns to an Enterprise that’s not his own. Time travel shenanigans with such emotional depth that it will traumatise you in the best way. Stunningly good!

All Our Tomorrows Come Today by flippyspoon Words: 18,156 @flippyspoon

SNW. A newly introduced Jim and Spock accidentally get a glimpse into the future and see what they’re going to be to each other (a.k.a. Spirk’s Greatest Hits). A stunningly told story about finding the great love of your life. 

I Won't Make That Mistake Again by Moreta1848 Words: 69,402 @jennelikejennay

SNW/TOS. An epic story detailing Spock and Kirk’s love throughout their lives, beginning from their meeting on Pike’s Enterprise (SNW) and continuing on to an eventual  Generations fix-it happy ending. Wonderful!

No Going Back, No Before by spirkme Words: 78,486 @spirkme915

SNW/TOS. Timeline shenanigans, spies, twists & turns, pining, angst, sacrifice and so so much love!

The 1,000 Hour Sleep by spqr Words: 27,227

SNW. Jim’s been infected with a pathogen that means he can’t sleep, but it he doesn’t he’ll die. Cue Spock and his Vulcan telepathy helping Jim to achieve the sleep he needs, while they get to know each other within their shared mindscapes. A sweet and exciting story about falling in love and overcoming your own inner demons.

First Best Destiny by Ophelia_j Words: 387,733

TOS/TNG. Such a very special fic. Epic in its scope, it covers the entire timeline of Spirk from their very first meeting through to a  clever and satisfying Generations fix-it ending. It provides extra scenes, additional dialogue and internal monologues to expand on existing canon in a really compelling and effective way. Truly this is my new TOS canon.

The Steadfastness of Stars by itsnatalie Words: 61,566

AOS. After Beyond, The crew investigate sudden climate change on a frozen planet and find more than they bargained for. The perfect mix of great plot, fun original characters, action, mystery, world building and deep deep love.

Let Forever Be by gunstreet Words: 43,446 @gunstreet

TOS. A really compelling character study of James T. Kirk. An excellent companion piece to City on the Edge of Forever. Exploring what Jim and Spock got up to, and all they had to overcome, while trying to find Bones and their way back home.

Time After Time by spaceisgay (ChancellorGriffin) Words: 138,921

SNW. Kirk spends a 6 month rotation on the Enterprise as part of his command training. OK, if there’s a favourite of my favourites then this may be it. It’s such a stunning version of their love story, with a beautifully constructed plot. It runs the emotional gamut from moments that will have you laughing out loud to moments that will have you in floods of tears. 

milk and honey by spaceisgay (ChancellorGriffin) Words: 28,651

SNW. Kirk and Spock meet for the first time when they wake up in a prison cell together. A really fun, and extremely clever, version of the ‘aliens made them do it’ trope. It’s intriguing and funny with a real depth of feeling throughout.

The Promised Land by gunstreet Words: 58,260 @gunstreet

TOS. A story that explores the time Jim and Spock spent apart between the end of the 5 year mission and TMP. It’s a beautiful story of reunion and renewal of love. Sometimes achingly sad, but it’s worth it for the happy ending.

Again, if you've read any of these already then I'd love to hear your thoughts on whether you loved them as much as I did! 🥰

[ichayalovesyou]

Ok but do you have fanfiction/writing advice? Like for people who have only written lifeless stuff for school?

(also love interacting with you thanks)

No problem OP! I don’t write much fanfiction because I had stigmatized weirdness about it growing up. I am learning though! I’ve started writing a mostly canon-compliant Mc(Spirk) fanfic that’s basically gonna be an epistolary (like The Color Purple) of personal logs, messages to home, and erased logs. I’ve learned that when it comes to fanfic writing (for me) gratuitous notes on who/what aspect of the show or characters you’re writing about is gonna be your best friend. At least if you hate characters acting OOC or stories that don’t clarify their lack of canon-complicance befire you start reading like I do (but that’s all personal preference).

As far as writing original stuff? There’s a lot to cover. Buckle up this is gonna be a long post (and I’ll prob RB on my actual writing blog lol)

For me, the most (and I mean The Most) important part is characters and character chemistry.

One of the prevailing things that keeps me coming back to Star Trek is that, even if it’s not perfectly executed character arc by the end, it has EXCELLENT neigh indestructible character concepts, that lend themselves to fantastic character development, and fascinating relationships with other, equally interesting characters.

I strive to capture that in my own work, and one of the best ways to do that is to have a setting that allows for it. Star Trek is, by design, a sandbox, it’s built to introduce abstract concepts and social issues into a presentable, digestible format for TV audiences.

You don’t have to have a world as sandbox’s and existential as Star Trek to create amazing characters though. Your best bet is to have a setting with a BROAD theme that multiple characters can embody in distinct ways. For example, I’m working on a sci-fi fantasy story that has multiple clashing aesthetics (solarpunk, biopunk, steampunk, post-apocalyptic, cyberpunk AND dieselpunk, just all the punks) but what unites them is the theme: Environmentalism.

Each of my 10 central characters are affected by and/or embody this theme in different ways, all of them are teenagers, and disabled in some way (several amputees, multiple autistic characters, the main character is deaf, lots of overlap). All of them are affected by the war between machine and nature in different ways, and those ways clash and compliment each other to create the greater narrative. The characters relationships with each other drive the story forward, not their actions as individuals, or the plot driving them.

Star Trek does this as well! The Original Series would not have triggered the chain of events that is modern Star Trek if it weren’t for the absolutely mind-numbing brilliance of the Triumvirate character dynamic. Bones, Spock, and Captain Kirk are what drives the story forward (serialized or not!) and none of them are compelling alone, and while each duo has its charms, it is not as electric as the 3 together and whole. Kirk is a bland conventional protagonist without Bones and Spock to shake things up by giving him people to care about, and electrify their conversations with rivalry. Spock is brooding and cold to the level of unlikability without Kirk & Bones there to prove he has a softer side. Bones would just be a grumpy xenophobic country doctor without Kirk to care too much about and Spock to challenge him and have a beautifully done enemies to friends arc. Kirk and Spock are romantic but not stable, Kirk and Bones are still too vanilla, Bones and Spock would hate each other without Jim’s mutual friendship. They complete each other!

I actually wrote a blog post for college on my exact process (complete with copy-able PDFs of questionnaires for the more thorough stuff) called 5 Ways to Write Great Characters that might help! 💚

[hi-my-name-is-dotdotdot]

Day 4 - Cozy Cabin

In which Chekov falls off a ladder (he's fine but everyone fusses over him)

“It’s time to put up the lights!” Christine announced one morning. “We’ll be here for a while, so we want to make it feel more festive and cozy.” Uhura split them up to work on different places, some inside but mostly out.

“Christmas lights were invented in Russia. A little neighborhood in Leningrad-”

“Great! Thanks for volunteering to do the front of the cabin, I’m sure you’ll do the best and you wouldn’t freeze like our doctor here.”

She turned to face McCoy as he walked in. “Who’s freezing? No one’s allowed to get sick, I’m off duty.” (He had brought his medical kit all the same - with this group, unexpected injuries were bound to happen.)

“No one’s freezing because you - and Spock - are staying inside today. You do the stairs, he woke up first and already claimed the doorways and walls.”

“As long as I’m not expected to go out into that ice machine and I can have my coffee first, that’s just fine.”

--

After a few hours, there was a loud crash and a scream from outside. Jim and Chekov wanted to add an extra string of lights to the roof, and Chekov had decided to start climbing the ladder before Jim had come back with the extra lights. Without someone to spot him, the ladder slipped on a patch of ice, sending Chekov falling into a thankfully deep bank of snow. He managed to poke his head out the top, calling “I’m okay!” but no one listened, all running to the front anyways. Bones and Spock, from inside, stopped just long enough for Bones to grab his medical kit. Christine had taken charge by the time they got there, even though Chekov kept insisting he was fine.

“You are not fine, Mister, you are covered in snow and just had a bad fall. Even if the snow was soft, it’s only the top layer. I know it’s packed like ice further down.”

“She’s right,” Bones got there as the rest pulled Chekov out of the snow. “And no one’s getting hypothermia on my watch, that slush is close enough to water that we needa get you dry, quick.

“You’re gonna go inside and sit by the fire, then take a nice, hot bath - Doctor’s orders.” Bones pulled Chekov inside and bundled him with the blankets from the couch. “Someone should go run the water, it takes some time for that tub to fill up.” It might’ve been an old-fashioned sort of cure, but it was the best thing to do. Hyposprays could only do so much to warm a person up.

Christine started to get up, but Scotty motioned for her to stay with the patient, saying he had an idea of how to make the water faster.

“I’m dripping on the floor,” Chekov pointed out, and indeed he was. The warmth from the fireplace was melting the snow and slush that they couldn’t brush off, and a puddle was starting to form on the rug.

“That is not our priority at the moment, Mr. Chekov,” Spock pointed out. “We can dry out the carpet later. Right now, it is more important that you do not become sick.”

“Here, I’ll go get some towels so you can dry off some, your clothes must be close to soaked through.”

“That’s a good idea, Jim. I only wrapped him in this blanket because it was closest.”

“There’s extra towels in the hall closet.” Sulu offered, returning from the kitchen with a cup of hot chocolate. “I thought this might help.” He gave it to McCoy, who nodded, “It’ll definitely make him feel better. Drink up,” passing it on to Chekov.

Scotty returned, pronouncing the bath filled and “as warm as anyone could ever want.”

Chekov drank the rest of his hot chocolate in one sip and got up, still insisting he was fine but he wasn’t gonna skip a nice, hot bath to prove it.

“Just don’t get too comfortable - as soon as the water starts getting cold, you get out and bundle back up, or it’ll have been pointless.” Christine warned.

“He’ll be fine, right?” Jim confirmed, turning his head toward Bones.

“Yeah, the kid just needs some warmth. He was only dunked in that snow for a minute, and it’s, technically, not extremely cold today.”

“Good. Now, do we wait for him or finish these half-strung lights?”

They ended up finishing up in time to surprise Chekov when he was all done getting warm again.

<- Day 3 Day 5 ->

[kinetic-elaboration]

September 1: 3x06 Spectre of the Gun

Okay so, it might be a little early to declare myself a S3 apologist, since there are still a lot of eps I’ve never seen, but I feel like I’m pretty close..

This ep was so good!! Honestly I think it’s one of my faves. And perfect to usher in Spooky Season.

Honestly, this show really is my happy place. Just all the characters together on the bridge, on some kinda adventure, looking at weird space buoys and investigating stuff.

Again, this buoy looks like a Windows 98 screensaver.

Kirk keeps referring to Spock as “Science Officer.” Is he mad at him? Full of some particularly intense longing that requires him to put extra distance between them?

Excuse me, you address US as aliens? YOU’RE the aliens.

Hmmm, so it seems they’re not friendly.

It’s addressing them in different languages!!! I love it. Love the reminder that Uhura’s first language is not English,also.

“True telepaths are dangerous.” As opposed to fake telepaths like Vulcans lol?

The Melkotians withdrew immediately. They invented space travel, they saw space, and they said “not for us” and they turned around and left. McCoy would like them; they’d have a lot to gripe about together.

The welcome mat is NOT out.

“Unlike Mr. Scott’s transporter, this unit is not functioning.”

It legit looked like Spock put his hand on Kirk’s back there. Like he clearly raises it, but not far enough to be seen above Kirk, so like.. what was the point? Where did it go?

LEE CRONIN--oh no, flashbacks lol.

“We come in peace”--immediately pulls out gun.

I should have watched this when writing my Western fic.

Just bits and pieces of a Western town... and a completely red sky...

The guns are “crude but dangerous.” If only Sulu were here; he’d love this.

An announcement with a specific time and place on it--that’s a very precise detail to just pull from their minds. Must have come from Kirk’s, that nerd. Maybe Spock. But probably Kirk.

“Because my ancestors pioneered the American frontier.” I mean did they really get to the frontier? Or just... the Midwest?

Maybe it’s actually because he’s a cowboy at heart?

Aliens using his own ancestral sins as the pattern for his own death for breaking their law IS a great (possibly partially unintended) idea. Oh also, if they think that Kirk and co. are here to ‘tame’ or colonize them, then the Western setting makes even more sense--you’re no different from your ancestors, you came somewhere new and brought lawlessness and violence and death, but not this time!

Can you believe Kirk knows all of these details about the OK Corral? NERD.

Spock is so proud of himself for knowing the phrase “had it out.” Look, I used slang correctly!

These are some creative aliens.

“We know death is real here.” Or is it? They’re literally telepaths guys.

Hmmm, this building doesn’t need a roof I think. - The aliens probably

Can’t believe Scotty thinks his usual is his actual usual lol. You’re going to drink bourbon and like it!

Kirk and Spock look so good together.

They’re obviously Chekov’s disapproving parents.

“The day is still young, Ensign.” I don’t remember the exact context of this but Spock is SO judgmental.

What is Kirk doing? This guy is a hallucination; he won’t be convinced by touching some cloth. There’s nothing to convince! He’s only a Concept.

“Have you seen clothes like this?” / “Yes.” / “Where?” / “On the Claytons!” Comedy gold.

Kirk really thinks he can charm his way out of anything. Hmmm, maybe if I just talk nicely to the Earps, they won’t kill us.

“In small amounts, it [bourbon] was considered medicinal.” Lol.

Scotty is becoming a bourbon guy!

“Mr. Chekov is inVOLVed” lol. Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

“A lot of people and things have tried to kill me.” No need to brag.

THAT’S how you make a city limits sign. Put a dead animal skull on top. I live quite close to a city limits sign and I think it could use a cow skull.

Western Cossacks!!

Poisonous snakes and cactus plants. That really distills the Aesthetic down to its core.

This is a good Kirk episode. He’s really being a good Captain: coming up with different ideas, being creative, pushing his crew to brainstorm.

Bones and his tranqs again.

Bones meets his old nemesis: Old Timey Medicine.

Why was Doc Holiday just...chilling in his own dentist chair? (My mom suggested: power nap. Let’s go with that. Power nap + ability for optimally dramatic entrance.)

Also I can’t believe McCoy just goes into this guy’s practice and starts helping himself to all the serious drugs.

Chekov definitely isn’t the marrying kind.

RIP Chekov.

Bones does not sound very sympathetic here. Jim, get over it, he just died, whatever.

And then two seconds later he turns around and tells Spock he’s not sad enough! You can’t win.

“We all knew the risk when we joined the service.”

“My feelings are not a subject for discussion.” !!!!!!! This line!!

“You worked closely with him.” Yes! Chekov is his protege!

“Bones, Scotty, stop bullying Spock.” <-- not an actual quote but it might as well be.

If this were AOS, Spock would already be choking Bones out.

Whoops, no one told Chekov he wasn’t supposed to die!

“Let’s organize! Let’s form an anti-Earp union!”

“I can’t kill them!” he says in a mad rage.

I mean, it is important, though. That’s not what he does.

Kirk is /disgusted/ by lawlessness and frontier justice. What a Rebel TM.

I feel like Bones was waiting for the gotcha moment when Spock compliments him. “Saying nice things about me? That’s not how this relationship works!”

“Nothing can go wrong.” / “Up to now, everything has gone wrong.” He has a point.

That pause before Spock admitted it hasn’t been tested lol--they don’t want to admit it.

“[The bourbon’s] for the pain.” / “But this is painless.” / “You should have told me that before.” The unexpected comedy stylings of Scotty and Spock.

It doesn’t work--guess Spock’s got to take back that compliment now.

“Captain, you don’t understand--they’ve been telepaths the whole time which we already knew!”

“We’re not going to move from the spot.” * is immediately in a different spot * Well I mean at least he’s trying. He’s doing his best!

Love the OK Corral sign also. Weirdly creepy. With its accompanying horse.

Spock doesn’t have any hips for the holster to rest on.

“What did Chekov die of?” / “A piece of lead in his body.” That would do it.

If the tranquilizer should have been effective, does that mean Scotty is actually passed out right now?

Honestly, this is all so spooky. TRUE Western Horror Ghost Vibes.

Also very trippy. If you don’t believe it... it’s not real... some kinda weird chicken and the egg argument regarding our belief in the truth of physical laws idk but it sounds good. Spock brings it home.

Even with the wind whipping around him, Kirk is SO in love. His absolutely adoring expression... So soft...

“Very well, Sir, I’ll meld with you again. Not that I particularly want to. It will be a sacrifice. But I’ll manage. Even though you’re such a dynamic individual haha ha I’m fine I’m cool.”

I feel like Scotty is NOT into the mind meld. He looks terrified. Maybe he should have saved the bourbon for this occasion.

I know the mind meld is supposed to be a replacement for on screen hypnotism...but is this not hypnotism? Like even more than past uses? In this case, Spock is leaving them with suggestions that he wants to continue AFTER the meld, as opposed to, like, efficiently sharing information or giving immediate suggestions. And the scenes themselves are very creepy and...hypnotic.

Kirk’s patented move: WHOLE BODY ATTACK.

Well, we wrapped that up right quick.

Did they... never actually leave the bridge? Or even navigate past the buoy? This actually brings up a lot of questions as to when the aliens started the hallucinations, what their bodies looked like to the rest of the crew, and how they woke up--since there’s obviously been a bit of a time skip, as Bones is already examining Chekov.

Lol at Chekov, saved by horniness. “Nothing but the girl was real to him.”

“A vast alliance of fellow creatures who all believe in the same thing...”

Kirk’s vision of the utopian future is so powerful, he’s effectively gotten the welcome mat put back out.

A personal question? Kirk is intrigued.

Ah, but it’s just another excuse for Spock to be a hypocrite--how did humans survive? How did VULCANS survive? And for the show to remind us of its utopian vision of the future... we will move past violence, we will prove ourselves attractive to and worth of new alien friends.

Then McCoy walks out so Kirk and Spock can have their Moment. He undoubtedly knows what’s up.

So this ep was shown one day before the anniversary of the shootout at the OK Corral AND on Halloween week. It is very much a spooky season episode. So surreal and strange. Ghostly.

I know using sets rather than on location shoots, and not even building whole sets, was a budgetary issue but tbqh I think it worked in the ep’s favor. It added to the alien feeling of it and was an accidentally creative way of showing that these images were pulled from Kirk’s mind.

This felt like a very Classic S1-ish ep to me. I think it’s because Kirk was foregrounded as the Captain/hero and we get to see not just his intelligence and creativity and leadership but also his compassion and his moral core. He IS the values of the series, personified, and that was clear here.

But we also got to see lots of him and Spock, casually working as a pair, and the use of the rest of the landing party crew was very deft also. I loved that there was time to mock Chekov’s horniness, to talk about Spock and Chekov’s professional relationship, to joke around with Scotty, to show more of the Spock and Bones dynamic.

Again, great sci fi concept. I think this would have been another possible inspo for my Pirate AU if I’d seen it in time (although I think I picked a good mission-concept ultimately). I’m fascinated by the Melkotians: who are they? What do they really look like? Do they communicate any other way but telepathically? Are they corporeal? What is their planet like? And most importantly, what experience lead them to be so isolationist? They specifically refer to the aliens as “disease” coming into their home. And it’s when Kirk shows himself to be fundamentally nonviolent even in the face of his own death, they let the Enterprise through.

Basically, I always enjoy hints of alien societies that bring up more questions for me than answers. I love speculating about it.

The next two eps I’ve seen and remember well and I know they’re classics. I’m really looking forward to them!

[calliecat93]

Seriously though, the thing that annoyed me most about the Kelvin Timeline films is how is really did not understand Kirk, McCoy, or the Triumvirate dynamic. I don’t want to rant on the AOS films too much, they’re perfectly fine movies and being a newbie fan maybe I just don’t have the understanding of things tat I thought. But after spending two months watching all of TOS and loving it so much because of that dynamic... it just irks me. I know that reboots have to do things differently. Things have to change or you get an urban copy with no identity for value on it’s own. But at the same time, you have to understand that original property and put in the time and effort to make it work. Reboots like Ducktales 2017 worked because that effort was make. Reboots like The Powerpuff Girls 2016 failed because no effort was made at all. The AOS films made an effort, don’t get me wrong. But aside form Beyond, it just feel like they either didn’t understand how The Triumvirate and their respecitve dynamics worked and hwy it was so essential (and even then Beyond ain’t perfect int hat area) or decided that it was better to stick to pop culture interpretations despite those almost ALWAYS being exaggerations.

Kirk is a risk-taker and could be reckless and arrogant at times. But he was also perfectly level-headed and responsible as well, and no him being younger (if anything TOS said he was kind of a serious, overly studious person int he Academy so shouldn’t his arc be int he opposite direction?) or this being an alternate timeline (with the films doing NOTHING to explain/justify the changes the event that triggered it made) is NOT a valid excuse. This was the film going by the pop culture interpretaiton of Kirk. A reckless, arrogant, rebellious, womanizing idiot who has a heroic soul, but is a pain int he ass. Which sure it’s fun to joke about, but that is a shallow reaidg of James T Kirk. He was brave, responsible, charming, and VERY dedicated to his duty. Sure he’d go against Starflee’s orders sometimes, but he knew when to judge whenw as the time, hece hwy he needs Spock AND McCoy with him. He needs the logical half (Spock) and the emotional half (McCoy) to find the balance. To make the right choice. Sometimes it may be best to be logical. other times it’s best to be emotional. Sometimes it’s a combo of the two. But Kirk had the ability to take those options and make the right choice and f he makes the wrong one, find a way to make it right. Sometimes it meant going against Starfleet’s orders, sometimes he abided by it. Sometimes he could be rational, other times his emotions or circumstances got the better of him. But regardless, this was a man who proved over and over why he is a Starfleet Captain and one of the best. AOS Kirk got there eventually, but... let’s just say that he never should have gotten that captain chair in 2009.

McCoy has always pretty much ben given the shaft compared to Kirk and Spock since the former is the main character and the latter is the breakout character. Event he TOS movies are guilty fo sidelining him, though at least those tried to keep him involved. TOS is guilty of it too, but they also put a lot into his character even if not everything made it onto the screen. My point is... what is McCoy’s role aside from Chief Medical Officer? He is the one who gets Jim to took at the emotional/human aspect of situations. He is the who challenges Spock and his repressed emotions. If Spock is concerned about the needs of the many, McCoy is the one concerned with the few or the one left behind. He’s a doctor. A psychologist. A caretaker. It’s his JOB to look after the well-being of everyone especially Kirk physically, mentally, and emotionally. Essentially, he is the opposite of Spock. Spock is the logical one. The big picture person. The one whose roll is to keep Kirk on task and remind him of what’s truly at stake depending on their success or failure. He’s not emotionless, but logic will be what he leans towards first unless certain circumstances forces him otherwise. They are the opposite ends of the spectrum. Because AOS made Kirk the opposite end of the spectrum compared to Spock, McCoy loses his roll nor does he take up being the balance between the two ends. Essentially Kirk and Spock have to sort it out on their own, which... well if you read my watchthrough post you know I didn’t care for how it was done. McCoy’s part was sorely missing. He was just...t here. he filled the sarcastic best friend spot well, don’t get me wrong and he DID feel like McCoy because Karl Urban is a great actor who cared about what he was doing. But the narrative clearly didn’t feel the same way.

Here’s what I think, and again as a newbie fan maybe I just don’t have the proper understanding. I apologize for that. But TOS was at it’ best, imo, when these three were together. They were great on their own. Their respective broken up dynamics (Kirk and Spock, Spock and McCoy, McCoy and Kirk) were all also great. But went they were together? Even during the show’s lowest points, they were at their best. heck Final Frontier, while NOT a good movie, was enjoyable because of these three being together and doing their thing. Sure TOS might not gave given McCoy the attention he deserved and maybe Kirk and Spock hogged too much of the attention due to their main character (and Shatner’s ego) and being the most popular character respectively which affected EVERYONE else, not just Bones. But you can tell when the writers realized what they had with The Triumvirate, and they took advantage of that. I can only speak for myself but while I was liking ST TOS alright, it was near the end of S1 when they began focusing more on these three with the finale seeming to be when it truly clicked into place that I went from liking it to becoming a fan. Because the dynamic was just that good.

AOS just... didn’t seem to get it. Beyond did, but even then they spend most of the movie part so it can’t really shine fully. Now they are films. They get two hours a piece at most. TOS had an hour runtime, but got over 20 episodes a season and six films. It had PLENTY of hours to form and showcase the respective characters, relationship dynamics, and the three together. But tbf again, the films were made when TOS was about 40 years old. But they ultimately decided to go how they did, and it just... missed the mark. Kirk wasn’t Kirk and given McCoy’s most emotional traits without his common sense. McCoy lost hi importance and relegated to side character. Spock... honestly he got it the best of the three, through given a LOT more unnecessary angst when his TOS story already gave him everything he needed to be sympathetic and relatable. Seriously, Amanda dying still pisses me off especially HOW she died. But he at least maintained his role and played it mostly well. The dynamic that made TOS so great was broken, and I highly doubt that was the big change that was supposed to signal how this timeline is broken. Which, sorry to say this, but it is just an easy excuse for whatever changes are made without having to put the work in to justify it. Which when it comes to reboot, is one of my biggest issues.

Again, I don’t mean to bash the AOS films. I don’t hate them. I liked watching them. It took a bit but the characters did grow on me. Whether it continues or not, there is potential in it and I can see fanon getting very creative with it especially because there’s so much that allows so much creative freedom. Plus they DID bring this era of Star Trek back to popular conscious, hence why Spock has likely been brought back in Discovery and soon Strange New Worlds. But I just feel so... annoyed by it because it took the thing I loved most about TOS, and cowered away from it. I was so excited to see these three together again after being so sad when I finished TOS, and it just... wasn’t there. I expected it to be different, not essentially non-existent. But ah well, guess I have fanon at least. I can only hope that if this reboot continues or a new one emerges, they will do better there. Because I want to see them again and it’s okay fi they’re different form TOS. I just want those differences to come with the understanding and respect of what came before. And AOS, at least int his area, did not until it was arguably too late. It’s not even close tot he worst reboot I’ve ever seen though and like I said, Beyond showed signs of hope. But only time will tell if they lead to anything.

[ifdragonscouldtalk]

I cannot stand spirk shippers who completely ignore bones

McCoy is so intimately integral in Spock and Jim's relationship. He is not their balance, but he's their counterweight, pulling them apart when they get too close and pushing them together when they need the encouragement. It's not necessarily romantic, but there isn't Jim and Spock without McCoy.

In both the tos and aos movies, it is Bones who manages to keep them together, despite his reluctance. Bones, who never wanted to go to space -- the only reason he's there at Genesis and at Into Darkness? That's for Jim. He's just as much connected to Jim as Spock is; both Spock and Bones are primarily on the Enterprise, at these points in the series, for Jim and Jim alone. And each time, it is Bones who saves their relationship even more than he saves their lives, bridging the gap between their actions and reactions in a way no one else is able to do. Without Bones, Spock doesn't have a soul, and Jim doesn't have a life. Those are more than literal gestures, but symbolic in their absolute necessity as they create Spock and Jim into who they are and force them back together in a way that is absolutely binding. Bones is the judge, juror, executioner, and priest in their relationship.

Spock needs Bones to push him. To make him see his Human katra is just as significant as his Vulcan one, to prove to him that his katra is capable of love and care and, most especially, binding to another human katra, to someone as important as Jim. He needs Bones to push him those last steps towards the Captain, to dig into his insecurities so Jim can patch up the wounds. It's not malicious, it is symbiotic and necessary. Spock is can still be Spock without Jim, however much it hurts. But Spock is not Spock without the influence of Bones.

Jim needs Bones to keep him breathing, less literally than we often see portrayed. He needs Bones to care and needle at him, to challenge his perceptions and his relationships. Bones, with Jim, is the caring man that Jim never really had in his life, speaking from an Into Darkness standpoint. He is a shoulder and a saviour and a teacher. He inspires Jim's curiousity, encourages it, and is inspired and encouraged by Jim in return. It is only their combined curiousity which pushes Bones to the actions which ultimately save Jim's life. It is his encouragement and support that allows Jim to stand not only as Captain of the Enterprise but as something deeply held and special to a Vulcan in the most transcendent and etherial relationships in the universe. Without Bones, Jim would not be able to withstand his own insecurities long enough to take the first step with Spock.

It's not that this is necessarily romantic, even if I think it is. It's that Bones, as a friend and as his own person, not as a side character to the main romance, is the cement that keeps two crumbling people from falling away from each other in the maelstrom, just by his sheer force of care for the two of them. And I dislike that his role is so often ignored in spirk stories.

[afteriwake]

The Prince Next Door (1/7 - A “The Hidden Royal Prince” Story)

And here is the last of the finished fics I have done! Or at least the first part. This one there weren’t many addittions to after what had already been posted, but I tweaked the chapters already up and I don’t even think @greenskyoverme has seen the tweaks. So please enjoy!

The Prince Next Door - There's something about the Vulcan who lives in apartment 2B, something Jim doesn't find out until the Vulcan is attacked: he's Prince S’chn T’gai, trying to hide from the planetary troubles on his home planet. But the man, who tells him to call him Spock, ends up becoming more important to him and in his world than he ever realized.

Read Chapter 1 | Series Page | Help Me Survive? | Commission Me?

There was something...different...about the guy in 2B.

Not just that he was a Vulcan. Vulcans were kind of rare on Earth, but Jim had met a few. Apparently, there was some turmoil on their home planet, a conflict with a race known as the Romulans, and a few had escaped to Earth and were integrating themselves in Earth society. So it wasn’t that he was a Vulcan. Not entirely. He could get used to the inherent...weirdness, he guessed was the best way to describe some of the stuff the guy did.

No, it was something else. Something that was just...different. Whether he was Vulcan or human or whatever, it was the kind of thing that would stick out like a sore thumb. He was different in a way that would be different for anyone, regardless of race. Something that smacked of...superiority, maybe? Of privilege?

If he had to guess, he’d have guessed that the guy in 2B wasn’t just any Vulcan. He was an important Vulcan.

But maybe he was just letting his mind get away from him. That was what his uncle would say. James Tiberius Kirk, getting caught up in a flight of fancy, head in the clouds. It was the whole reason the minute he’d been old enough, he’d gotten on his bike and taken the hell off from Iowa and headed straight for San Francisco. It wasn’t like he had gotten the chance to actually finish his education, not with the ball buster making him miss class to run the “family business,” basically meaning his uncle sat on his ass while he did all the work.

He knew his family didn’t think all that highly of him, but he was better than their expectations. He knew it deep down and he made it a point to prove it, whether they ever saw it or not. And he was doing good here, far away and on his own. He was pulling good grades at the college he was going to, better than his teachers in Iowa had ever considered him capable of. The books he’d borrowed from the library and read under the covers at night when his uncle didn’t notice had been worth something after all. He’d already gotten his GED and he’d have his bachelor’s degree in a matter of months, and then?

Starfleet.

He’d show each and every person who doubted he’d make something of himself. He’d prove all of them wrong.

The thud from 2B jarred him out of his thoughts. It was followed by the sound of breaking glass, and he was up and out of his chair in a heartbeat. Another thing he was was impulsive, and if the weird Vulcan next door needed his help, damn it, he’d give it. He threw his door open, sprinted the few steps over to the door to 2B, which was ajar, and peered inside. He could see the Vulcan in a chair, another man standing over him, blood leaking from the corner of his mouth. “Hey, asshole!” Jim called out, pushing the door open and rushing at the man standing over the Vulcan. He had the element of surprise and pulled his arm back, smashing his fist across the man’s face.

He didn’t count on the second man in the room, though.

The first man went down like a light as a lamp went across his shoulder blade and the side of his head. It hurt like hell and he stumbled, but that seemed to give the Vulcan enough time to get up from his seat and move past him to the second man. He did some sort of fancy move with his hand to the second man’s neck and he, too, went down like a light. Then he turned to Jim. “Come,” he said. “We must call to have them removed, and I must inform my security detail they were lax in their duties. My father will not be pleased.”

“Who the hell are you?” Jim said, moving his hand to his neck. It felt sticky, and when he pulled it away, he saw red blood. “Great.”

The Vulcan came over and inspected the wound. “You need to have the wound treated. Do you have a medical kit?”

“A basic one,” Jim said.

“We will go to your domicile and I will tend to your wound,” he said. “Do you need support?”

Jim shook his head. “I’ve been hurt worse breaking up bar fights.” The Vulcan raised an eyebrow. “My job. I’m a bouncer at a bar.” He nodded towards the door. “I’d kind of like to keep this shirt free of blood.”

“Of course,” the Vulcan said. They began to head to Jim’s apartment. “Thank you for the rescue attempt. I admit, I overestimated my odds of overcoming my opponents, since my security detail was nowhere to be found.”

“Maybe they were scarce on purpose,” Jim said.

The Vulcan tilted his head. “Perhaps. That is something I had not considered. They may be loyal to my father’s enemies. There are traitors to his house.”

Jim gave him a confused look and stopped in his tracks. “Who are you?” he asked.

The Vulcan nodded toward Kirk’s apartment. “When we are in the privacy of your apartment, I shall properly introduce myself.” Jim shrugged slightly and kept walking. His door was still open, and the two of them walked in and the Vulcan shut the door behind him. After a moment of silence, he spoke. “I am Prince S’chn T’gai. My father is the ruler of the planet Vulcan. I have been sent here for my safety during the conflict with the Romulans. You may simply call me...Spock.”

Jim looked at him a moment, then moved to one of the stools at his kitchen counter and reached for the bottle of whiskey there, pouring himself a shot from the collection of shot glasses his friend Bones had given him. “Well, while you clean me up and tell me the whole story, I’m going to have a drink, because I think I’m going to need it.”

“Fair enough.”

[haveyouseenmymind]

The last Love Letter

Uhm… I’m sorry? First thing I’ve written since January and it’s sad and angsty and there’s no happy ending. But I really like it and I hope Jim dying won’t scare everyone away.

Fandom: Star Trek AOS

Pairing: strongly hinting at McKirk

Warning: Major Character Death

Words: 1087

Jim died on their last away mission and now Leonard finds himself in his friend’s quarters.

So this was it. This was the point, where his live would end for good. No Bones this time to save him.

Oh god, Bones.

He didn’t want to leave him behind, but he had no choice.

Bones.

And with the last thought of his best friend, Jim felt his consciousness slip away.

+++

Leonard felt numb. His body moved without him through the empty corridors, usually filled with live and crew mates chattering. No one was here, as everyone was assembled mourning the Captain.

Jim was dead.

Kidnapped by some fucking Klingons, tortured and then left on his own, slowly bleeding out while hoping his crew would find him before he would die all alone in a dirty cell.

But Leonard and the rescue team had come too late, Jim was long gone when the doctor finally had reached for his friend, checking his missing pulse with slightly shaking hands.

Jim was gone and Leonard was left behind in this damn tin can making its lonely way through space that once again had proved to be made of danger and disease wrapped in darkness and silence.

Jim was gone and Leonard still didn’t want to believe it.

Without really paying attention, he suddenly stood in front of his friend’s quarters. He rose his hand, to punch the code into the pin pad like he had done so many times before.

But his hands were shaking and he hesitated moving on further.

What did he expect to find here?

His friend was gone and all he left behind were his lifeless quarters filled with memories from past missions, planets they had nearly forgotten now and cultures long gone.

After minutes of staring at the door in front of him, he finally got over his uncertainty and stepped into the Captain’s quarters. He was greeted by deafening silence threatening to overwhelm him, as he made his way to the huge desk.

It was still a mess, as if he just left to come back after his shift and sit down to frown over Spock’s latest reports.

Several PADDs were strewn all over the surface -  reports, assignments and whatever else clattered there as if their reader had laid them down with his mind being occupied with the next important task.

Jim’s favourite mug, gifted to him by a bright eyed Pavel Chekov who thought it would be funny to present Jim something proclaiming him to be #1 Captain, was left at the same spot as earlier in the morning, when Leonard had visited his friend right before their shifts had started. A dark ring of residual coffee still adorning the desk as the last witness of Jim being alive and going on with his daily routine, everything just as it should be. A quiet moment before the storm.

Leonard couldn’t take his eyes of the chaos in front of him. It was just so typical Jim, who was normally so collected and had everything under control. Who only let go in his own private space, where he felt safe enough to let some of that control slip away from him.

Suddenly all-consuming rage threatened to swallow him wholey. He couldn’t stand it, couldn’t face this picture of false safety any longer. In one desperate bout of rage he swept everything off on that desk mocking him.

The mug shattered immediately, leaving behind hundreds of shards and Leonard felt as if each of them was piercing his heart, tearing him open and he sank down on his knees, bitterness slowly choking him and making it impossible to breathe.

Out of the corner of his eyes he noticed a leather-bound notebook standing out between all of the PADDs surrounding it. Jim always had a weakness for old fashioned books made of paper and ink, feeling more real than any of the modern data storing devices ever could.

The brunet grasped the slim book, let his hands feel the cold smooth cover while he contemplated if he should have a look on the content or leave Jim’s private thoughts alone.

But Jim was gone and this was the last thing his best friend left behind and all he needed was something, anything…

He desperately needed his friend who was gone and who couldn’t give him anything ever again but this notebook.

So of course he opened it, skipped through the pages to realise that this was some kind of diary filled with observations about his crew, praisings and all the love he held for the family he had chosen for himself.

Here in his hands laid all the emotions Jim wasn’t willed to share with the Captain’s Log.

He skipped those entries till he reached the last, dated the night before that cursed away mission.

Leonard’s breath stopped when his eyes danced over the last words his friend had left behind for the world.

No, only left for him. Right there in his hands Leonard held a love letter Jim had dedicated to his best friend.

Can’t sleep again.

I’m sitting here, sighing like a lovesick fool.

Which, I may be?

Is it love? Am I in love with Bones?

Honestly, I don’t know. But my heart is aching with longing to be with you, to see you, hear you, smell you.

I wish for waking up drowsily and seeing you as the first thing in the morning. To wake up, and soak up your warmth, while you’re shifting closer to me and bury yourself in my arms.

I want to see you smile. See your face shifting into full happiness, to see if your nose would crunch up and how much your eyes would light up.

I want to kiss this smile of your face. To feel the love in my heart overflow with the joy of seeing you happy and the only thing I would be able to do is kiss you and pour all my undying love for you into it.

I simply just wanna be with you. Wanna be your strength when you feel lost, wanna share every success with you and just want to get to know, what live with your love would mean.

I just want to be by your side forever, and share every part of your life with you, so I can see you grow and conquer life and proudly tell the world that you’re letting me be a part of you.

I just want you.

So yeah, if this isn’t love, then I don’t know.

And Leonard couldn’t hold back the tears any longer.

tags: @thevalesofanduin @medicatemedrmccoy @toosouthernforspace

If anybody else wants to be tagged in my fics just let me know. :)

[mirrorfalls]

Lego Liveblogs ST: TOS, part 12 (of who-the-hell-knows-how-many?)

Lotta high hopes riding on this one, folks, in spite of the permanently-Simpsons-tarred villain name. Will they wind up breaking the Conscience of the King? Let’s find out.

* Easily the least science fiction-y opening we’ve had so far: no Enterprise bridge, no stars, just a single line of dialogue this is an Earth play being done by non-Earthlings. * Aww, Kirk’s pals with Nick Fury! * So the inspiration for this one isn’t hard to figure - fugitive Nazi hunts were all the rage back in the ‘60s. Which makes it all the more interesting how eager Kirk is to brush the whole thing off. * The best forensics Starfleet has to offer... what, couldn’t even get fingerprints for comparison? * Hope you’re read up on your Poe too, good Captain. You oughta know what happens to Lenores... * Woo. Now there’s a mood-killer. ** I swear, if it turns out he faked his death just to guilt Kirk into investigating... * Now, now, Mr. Spock. Green isn’t your color. * “The regulations are very clear about taking on passengers... especially after that Charlie kid passed through.” * Another benchmark (I think) the first solo Spock-Bones dialog. ** “Now I know why they were conquered.” Jesus, Bones, I thought you were past your racist phase! * So... the tour scene. I can practically feel the effort dripping off every word of the script, but it still falls a ways short of actually convincing me Kirk has any  emotional investment in this, rather than just stringing her along for leads. At the very least, they could’ve found a slightly more organic metaphor to tie into the idea of Kirk being chained by his command. * In contrast, this very next scene is something that shouldn’t work but does: Spock spits out the entire story behind Kirk’s behavior in roughly two minutes, before the episode’s even halfway done. Part of it is Nimoy, letting just the right amount of “fuck Vulcan culture, I have things to say about eugenics” fury seep through, and the other part is all in the script: Kodos’ butchery is one of those things that looks kiiiiinda reasonable if you’re in the ruler’s seat, and absolutely goddamn horrifying from literally any other POV. Both options, at least on paper, could driving Kirk’s own stake in this whole thing. * Oh hey, it’s the Irish guy from The Naked Time! Welcome to the “only people who can hang Kodos (assuming he’s still alive)” club! ** Aaaaaand goodbye. Really, hanging out in that big a room by yourself, you were kinda asking for it. ** (Also: Windex in his milk is a hilariously Realistic(tm) way of going about it, but I kinda wish they tried ear-poison for full Shakespeare points.) ** (Also also: Why do I get the feeling someone on-set probably cracked a “Christ, Uhura’s singing was that bad?!”) * So Bones and Spock confront Kirk over... something. I’m theoretically happy that the script isn’t taking the easy way out and making them go “You’re just seeing things, Jim!”, but the whole oooh-Kirk-might-snap thing isn’t much good for building suspense, since at this point Kirk still insists on taking the investigation slow. Hell, if anything they should be dragging him over not putting more men on the case! * And now, Kirk and Spock reenact me searching for my car keys * Alright, we’re deep in the third act now, so let’s get that face-to-face showdown going. I’m sure Kirk’s carefully arranged the most subtle, intricate questions for teasing out- ** Or he could just ask him “Are you Kodos?” point-blank. Captain’s privilege. ** In all seriousness, this scene jumps out to me for one reason: neither of these men needs to go this far. All Kirk needs is a straightforward voice-print; all Kodos (or is he?!) needs is to go “Oh gee, this Kodos of yours sounds like a douche! Sure hope he’s gone for good!” Instead, they lay all their cards out, because tiptoeing around their motives feels inherently repugnant; what they’re doing is Right, element of surprise be damned. * Alas, we end the act not on this, but on another goddamn sitcom cue of ~Lieutenant NPC overhearing something~ * Alright, so I guess this thirty-second sideshow is meant to prove how Kirk is still keeping a level head, but it’s a bit dulled by this being the exact part where the script tosses out any ambiguity. He is Kodos... and it looks like Murder For The Greater Good runs in the family. * Still, whatever problems I have with the script (which is getting less morally nuanced by the second), Lenore’s actress sells the hell out of her being genuinely delusional enough to think murdering people to cover someone’s tracks is equivalent to being a Soldier In A Cause. ** And I’ll admit: “The play’s over. It’s been over for twenty years.” is an absolute banger of a line. * Welp. ** C’mon, guys, I know you remastered this - couldn’t you have made it look even slightly less like she shot him on purpose? *** Unless... that was the point...? * Even if it was, though, this finale tips things from Unsettling to Just Plain Silly - rambling famous Shakespeare lines does not a compelling breakdown make, guys. ** And on top of that, because Females Are More Innocent, she doesn’t even have to live with what she’s done. * “You really cared for her, didn't you?” “I had about two-and-a-half scenes with her, Bones. What do you think?”

This play’s the thing, all right - it’s not quite as good as Balance of Terror, but it aims just as high, if not higher, and it get more than halfway there. Whatever my problems with the direction or Lenore (who’s a bit of a nonentity before the last act - I couldn’t even buy into her having a fake romance with Kirk), Shatner’s clearly having an absolute ball doing Shakespeare in Space, and Kodos’ actor brings a kind of pained gravitas that even the Romulan Commander never quite hit, almost enough to make you forget he massacred 4,000 innocents and didn’t even have the guts to own up to it until the very last second.

And more important than any of that, this is probably the biggest plank in Kirk’s backstory we’ll ever get: past friends and flames will definitely be walking onto the Enterprise for years to come, but none of them could cast such a haunting lens onto every action he takes from here on out. His Captaincy isn’t just a matter of playing hero or serving the Federation, but because he personally saw what horrors the self-righteous and powerful can wreak - and, so long as there’s a single breath left in him, vows he’ll never see again.

Next: Seven men walk into a planet...